and so I write

•August 4, 2009 • Leave a Comment

to appease that burns deep within.  It seems as though I have found myself profoundly touched by unseen forces and the pull is undeniably earthshaking.

It is with this I want to extinguish once and for all and hope to find light in its mysticism and shadows.

I burn incessantly, much more than a desire for petty habituals.  I am to carry the cross of some magnetism that connects the flesh.  Yes…this might reconstitute in ones mind the kind of flesh binding only our society can conjure.

Not at all, I will refute.  I am no longer of fresh seven years, but I remember.  I recall the giddiness of a child’s anticipation of a new day, for new days meant new opportunity to explore the world, the surroundings, rocks to turn, and fresh new faces to unearth adventures with.

It is with this innocence and excitement I wish to ride on to take me to new heights of my own learning.

I only wish, oh how so intense it may be to share moments with you.  to turn those rocks in a way you have not done so.  I want to show you overgrown paths hidden in the garden of eden.

It is with this, to toast on new experience and share with someone worthy of my attention.  And nothing more.  I do not offer lifetime warranties, just for this moment when I know we both might enjoy and discover something new about our world, to teach you how to share it with the rest that you may come to, once our road ends.

Things of the flesh, do not last, but memories are embedded in the essence of that which we have come to embody through our experiencing its life, as each rock turned become another’s marvel.

Intense

•July 26, 2009 • Leave a Comment

The intensity of sensual feelings have been strong lately, I have noticed.  First I want to get with my prof and do all this kinky stuff with him (I mean I still do).  It tapered off because I had to, it was driving me crazy and I feel like I could literally jump on him all of a sudden.  that would not be good for me and my future career.

N now  I met someone, he’s married too.  God damn this shit.  He is approachable, has good conversation, has some stuff in common and he’s not bad looking. He is non-threatening and got skills.

What da hell?  And I can’t stop thinking aobut him.  It’s so strong that I can’t even do some things.  I stop in the middle of eating and I get this butterflies and I have to stop.  At night I can’t sleep.  I don’t know what he is feeling but there’s an evidence of some sort of pulling on me.  I don’t know where it is coming from.  It is very *sensual*.

How to deal?  without some wife chasing me with a huge chef knife.   this was actually in my dream.  I really have to cool this sensation off.

It’s just my nature

•May 24, 2009 • Leave a Comment

It’s difficult to stand by unaffected by things i’m aware of.  you touch me, and I can’t move on without n0ticing.

Shake it off.  Shake it off.  The residue of weight, of the reaction awaiting release.

I need your guidance. Please, don’t let go.  the loud emptiness of struggle and its heaviness bares on my essence and I will surely wonder and right now I just want to get to the light of the tunnel even for a split second.

Ripples of water stirring on my surface, some one is taking shape and I can’t fall off.  Please, the goal is ahead and it’s fading each second I move away.

My eternity, my soul, my center and the hand that leads me, listen to my plea and don’t let me fall off.

dEflated

•May 13, 2009 • Leave a Comment

ppppprpprprssshwesp!!!!>>>>>>>>>>>……………..

slowly losing wind_————-

the picture hasnt change but now it’s been hanged 20 feet high off from eyesight….hmmm

maybe it had been a cross-eyed weekend.  It’s a-one-of those days-maybe-rollercoaster.

Ellison’s Invisible Man

•May 9, 2009 • Leave a Comment

The blind and those who chose to mask everyone else’s blindness.
Which are you?
The doctor’s no fool. His laugh can make you sick. So which is it. The fools or the foolish?

Did you know it’s a masquerade? So which one are you? Can you see me?

it’s no mule a -runnin’ with no carrot hangin about, oh no siree. It’s waiting for the right moment, when a ditch be passin by and you’se be in it.

So who’s laughing now? Do they have you runnin?

eyes a perched, ears a tuned in

•May 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment

a shadows stalk,

those curious pay attention

a seeming joke to poke, lay open their empty home

lightly brushed off as innocent play, actually a deep trench of lostness

nothing profound they find within, so outside they puncture….for something alive they can’t seem to grasp

like beggars in the corners masked in a translucent facade of confidence

just Beautiful

•May 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I am a simple person.  I like it simple.  I don’t like wasteful words.  I prefer the action form.  Even just the simplest words.  I say let the actions do the talking.

Like the hands.  The hands has so much to tell.  I love to look at someone’s hands; the rugged and worn out the best.  Because they tell stories without one trying to explain too much.

Beautiful.  Just Beautiful.  He’s beautiful.  And I will leave it at that.

Move on……………………….

•May 7, 2009 • Leave a Comment

give way………….and trudge along……now now must not let your feet drag.
Get to it…………..you’ll feel alot better……………you’ll see, things will start to fall into place.

Sometimes is……..it’s what it is and we move on……….time doesn’t wait.

we must live!

so cold…

•May 6, 2009 • Leave a Comment

why do I feel something so strong, but it seems that when I confront it.  It turns awry.  It felt so cold. I felt like imploding when reality hits and I am left to deal with the truth.

Wake up! You’re still dreaming.  It’s time to realize it’s all just a fantasy.  There is in no way possible that it can become anymore than playwright in your mind.

It hurts.  It rips me and feel like someone had dropped an anvil atop.  My hopes uplift and then the floor is slipped off from my steadfast.  and I come crashing down face flat into reality.

It’s fucked up.  I just have to swallow it.  There is and WILL NEVER BE US!  It’s just unpotential.

Let me be to silence and face the abyss of truth alone.  It’s just never meant.

…I wanted to touch him…he was so close…so so so close…damn close to my face and I retracted into an inkling…he leaned forward and I wanted to lean forward and follow with a soft kiss, but then he was trying to explain and we left together but he walked away so cold, so distant, so far away when I was only 2 feet behind.

I don’t get it.  Well maybe cuz you’re just reading too hard. Let it go and focus.

rIseN from the SleEpiNg eArth

•May 5, 2009 • Leave a Comment